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drunktrophywife:

Who could honestly say this to their mom without getting knocked into the next dimension

drunktrophywife:

Who could honestly say this to their mom without getting knocked into the next dimension





wailordead:

fun-size candy bars aren’t fun after you’ve eaten 37 of them



Patrick + Monumentour Meet and Greets





asammyg:

How fucked up is the entire concept of The Parent Trap? These parents have twins but want a divorce so they decide their best course of action is to just each take one and never speak to each other again. 





burgerkid:

trying to run away from my problems like

image



thorki:

I JUST SAW A GUY AT WALMART AND HE LOOKED LIKE MORGAN FREEMAN AND HE CAUGHT ME LOOKING AT HIM AND HE POINTED AT ME AND SAID “IM NOT MORGAN FREEMAN”



walkingwithdragons:

Christians call The Bible “the greatest story ever told” almost as if they’ve never heard John Mulaney’s Salt and Pepper Diner



real-scars-fake-smiles:

Married life with Ellen and Portia.

IDC HOW MANY TIMES IVE REBLOGGED THIS IT IS LITERALLY MY FAVOURITE FUCKING THING



droqo:

Arrested Development Cast Appreciation: Tony Hale

You are hilarious in everything you do! Are you as nice in person as I assume you are? Nicer.



twophoenixfeathers:

whoop there it is





iconastop:

swagtasticswaggiemcswaggyswag:

iconastop:

when u wear a snapback

image

NO

IM SORRY